This Feeling

I am not myself lately. 
I don't sleep well at night, I wake up feeling fragmented in the morning.
I don't eat well and don't feel like doing anything. 
I screwed up my German and Italian tests because I was too distracted to revise. 
I am emotionless most of the time.

I don't really want to let this qualm continue to upset me.
I just couldn't help but feel that way. 
The feeling that a part of me nearly died and everything just doesn't matter anymore.
I wish I could stop putting on smiles around people just to stop them from worrying about me.
(or maybe no one actually cares.)
I feel vulnerable, and I don't like it that way.

This feeling is virulent.
It eats you, until you're not you anymore.
Until you're lost, until you don't remember who you were,
until you forget yourself, and all you can see, is the greater good.

I am really afraid right now.