I'm Back

Don't ask me what I have been doing for the past 10 months, believe me, you don't want to know. But here I am, blogging on my laptop in my uni dorm room, far away in Essex, England, trying to tell you what's going on in my life.

Yes, I first came to England last September, studying at a university in London. However it turned out to be a wrong decision, so I struggled through it, went back home for a couple of months, and came back to England again. And yeah, now a proud Modern Languages student at the University of Essex.

So how is it? Do I like it here? Will this turn out to be a wrong decision (again)?
It is amazing! Yes I like it here and no, I am pretty sure that this is not a wrong decision.

Some of my friends know what I have been through throughout this year and they told me I was crazy. Or worse, I was called a liar once. But now that I've moved on, I know exactly what I am expected of and what I should do, how I should behave.

The decision to come back to England was a tough one to make and I kind of hated myself for being unrealistic. I was so depressed, I didn't want to look like a fool to everyone else and I knew people would talk about me like a joke or even judge and criticise me so I had to be very careful. The moment when I waved goodbye to my family when I was at the airport, I was actually scared. I didn't know what would be waiting for me except for a 17-hour flight. I spent the 17 hours thinking about my decision, my life until then, what I should do, how I could cope with my new life etc. I would not lie, I was lost when I landed in Heathrow. Will I regret my choice? Will I make any friends? Will I enjoy the course? the campus? the town? Will I miss home? Will I be able to take care of my own meals? What should I eat? What should I wear? .. And then the next thing I knew, it's been more than a month since I came here.

Ask me anything about my life now, I will say I really really like it. The other day we had this "what would you do if you won the lottery" essay in our French class, and I said I wouldn't change anything significantly, except for paying my own tuition and maintenance fees to support myself financially, because I love my life now. Even I was surprised by my answer.

I started participating in extra-curricular activities again, just like what I used to do back in high school. I still clearly remember how busy I was when I was 17 years old and how much I enjoyed being busy. I am not completely sure about that now, it is still the beginning but I think I will still have the same kind of energy and spirit.

So that's what I want to tell you! I will try to be more detailed the next time I see you. Have a nice day.